I have always been homosexual for as long as I can remember. Although I am not effeminate and am definitely not into being a drag queen, I still always knew I liked guys. There is a guy at work, named Ryan, who is not married and never mentioned a girlfriend. He seems shy around most other people, as if he has something to hide. I thought he might be gay because I saw him staring at one of the other men at work, named Jim, who is downright handsome. I have seen straight guys checking out Jim because he is very nice looking and has a casual yet classy way of dressing. However, straight guys seem to be quite predictable and readable when they are checking out another man. A straight guy might even become briefly sexually aroused by checking out another handsome guy, but it is always a quick and passing thought for a straight guy. On the other hand, a gay or bisexual man who is looking at a handsome guy has many complex thoughts going through his head. He stares more carefully than a straight guy would. It's enough to catch the attention of a third-party astute observer (like me) wonder what Ryan is thinking about as he stares and watches other attractive men's movements. Some people call this observant behavior I have "gaydar", but I think it is just paying attention, getting to know many straight and gay men, and remembering how each type of person acts and reacts to sexual stimuli in addition to how they live their lives (in general).

I had to think of a way to get Ryan to meet me outside of work without making it sound like a "date" so I could find out what kind of guy he really is. After all, I think I really like him (and I am picky). I decided to tell Ryan that two other guys and myself were going to have a little weekend retreat, and he was welcome to come. Since he was the new guy at work, all expenses would be paid for him. He agreed to go along after a little convincing that everything was strictly for relaxation and another new guy was going to be there too.

Well, my real plan was to get Ryan to go along and then tell him the other guys canceled and it was just him and me. So, Ryan and I went away to a really nice place. When we checked into the beach house, it wasn't long before we ended up in a large room just by ourselves. We had a long conversation that ended up right where I wanted it to end up - on the topic of relationships and eventually sex.

It turns out Ryan had been with two long-term relationships with women before and was never with a man. I told him I had only had three long term relationships with other men. At first, be seemed scared, but I told him most of my friends are straight. He said, "Well, I'm not sure, but I don't think I am entirely straight." I asked him if he ever watched another man masturbate. He said he hadn't, but has fantasized about it. From there, it was easy enough to ask him if he would be interested in seeing my penis and maybe watching me masturbate myself. He said he thought that would be OK.

As soon as I showed him my penis, he then showed me his and we decided to masturbate each other. I think we both knew more was going to happen soon, but not right away.

After dinner he and I went down to the spa which is far away from the beach house, so there was lots of privacy. I got naked as soon as we hoped in and so did he. After the spa, we went up to a bedroom and turned on the TV and waited for the late night porn. Once it came on, I felt a hand touching my erect penis. He was going at it again, but this time with no encouragement from me. He took off his boxers and I learned over on the bed and sucked the full length of his penis and he guided my head up and down slowly. It took him about 20 minutes to come to an orgasm, but it was worth the wait because it was such a better orgasm for him than the previous masturbation session.

Next, he wanted to try to suck on me. I could tell he was truly a beginner when he tried to put my penis in his mouth, but I thought that was wonderful. It was like he was a virgin to men completely. After he sucked on me for a while, it felt so good, I told him to stop and let me finish it off with my hand. I jerked myself off so fast, he couldn't believe his eyes. Then, he licked the semen from my hand and the shaft of my penis. I thought the whole experience was wonderful. I would love to teach this guy how to give good oral sex to a man and how to be in love with a man.

On the way home, he said, "I guess this changes things at work now. I feel kind of awkward about it." I reassured him that nobody else had to know about what we did, but I totally understand what he means. It is a drawback that we work together, and there could be unwanted consequences to this experiment. I still hope I can develop some kind of relationship with him besides this first time sexual experience.